Betrayal

Its been a month since I am home for vacations. The flash news for you guys is that I have nt yet called shreya or picked her call. She has been calling me all day long but i have been keeping the phone ringing. Dont ask me why but i want to get out of this relationship. Was it a one night stand for me? Was I using her? By the look of things that have passed. It sure looks that way. All these questions ran through my mind the whole day. What the hell would she think about me? I was using her fo that one night. Am I that kind of a person Or is it NEHA? Is she still tormenting my mind? I should have given a fucking thought about it before I made out with shreya. Right now I am trying to escape and giving stupid justification which is even hard for me to believe, then how the hell can i expect shreya to fall for it.

Should I talk to her again or Is it too late for that? Till now she might have got a clear picture about me. If u ask her to explain about me in a word then "SCOUNDREL" would be the least she would use. I send her a message the next day. Dont wana disclose what I send but that was the last I had heard from her. Shreya's chapter closed. Easy said and done or Is it???

With all those questions in mind, I returned to college for my next semester. She was not the only one who had some asking to do. Two of my closest friends knew about this relationship. One wa Aditya my room mate and the other was Anjana, my best friend. Have nt yet told you people about her. She is the one with whom I share all the happenings in my college and home. She is all in one, my friend , my P.A and everything. Dont have words to explain about her. Can say she knows more about me and my family than I know. Shocking??? Even I was!!! She along with Aditya had an important role to play in my relationship with shreya. She was the mediator for me. So obviously she had loads of questions to ask and I did owe her an explanation. I did talk to her about it but it wa least satisfactory. I expected that! But there was nothing she could do to change my mind, she knew that so she never tried. Even Aditya was pized with my attitude. They came to a conclusion that I dont value relationship and love. Some where in the back of mind I knew that i was gona pay for what i did. Somewhere in this four years I did. Anjana always called me a KID. I just proved her right with my kiddish attitude.

In the times to come, the most difficult part for me in college was to come face to face with shreya. It was so very difficult for me to look in to her face. It just made me pathetic. She would boldly look in to my face which would make me realize that I was a big time looser. By the time it was a talking point in college that I broke up with shreya. These people need something to talk over an evening coffee.What better to talk about than there friends break up. They would make up there own stories as to what would be the reason behind it. Can say yet another chapter in my o called fucked up life.........

A Taste of Intimacy

Exams over. It was time to go home and guess what i was nt alone this time. Shreya was coming with me. We both happen to be from the same place. We thought of going by the train at night. Both of us reached seperately and met at the station. We reached few hours early as our train was at night. Both of us entered the station and wandered here and there, until we found a place to sit alone. Its dificult to find such a place in the railway station. We sat there hand in hand and talked for a while. Then we thought of going some place else. We kept our luggage in the cloak room and left. We found a good place nearby. It was a garden, other than the old ladies coming for there evening walk, there were few couples present. The weather had taken a swift turn and was setting the mood of intimacy.

We walked through the fragnant muddy tracks crossing the gardens to the woods. We walked through the woods , talking about what that i also dont remember. We were trying to find a perfect place to sit. Finally we found a small hillock nearby. There were trees all around so we were virtually invisible from the outside world. The aroma of the surroundings seduced my heart and the sudden advent of clouds in the sky added colour to my emotions. Besides all that it was shreyas eyes that were drawing me towards her. Both of us climbed the hillock and sat there. I could feel it was the moment, the first moment of intimacy, might be the moment of my first kiss, it all depends on how shreya responded. Did nt want to hurry as that first kiss can turn in to my first slap. I was a bit sweaty and the situation was making it worse. I wanted to use my deo but it was in my bag and a mint would have been good as i was very much positive about a kiss. Hoping the fragnance of the surrounding will dissolve my body odour away, i was preparing myself for what was going to happen. Exited, nervous and little cautious, i tried to be as gentle as possible. I closed the gap between us and put my arms around her. She was behaving very shyly, he personality had changed suddenly. She transformed in to a shy young girl. She showed no resistance at all, she was ready for whatever i did. As if there was no one else on this planet other than two of us. I approached her and she closed her eyes. I held her palms and pulled her towards me.........................

With Friends

Exams started. The chilling climate at this time hardened our asses and made it difficult for us to sit and study. As usual we all were up to the last day study and there was hell lot to study. I started studying energetically but later drowsiness took charge of my body and eyes automatically got shut down. I had a very good nap and i woke up around twelve at nite. I was very much freeked out. There was very less time and so much to study. I spent most of the time this semester talking to shreya on phone till midnight and chatting with friends. I had no other option other than going for Plan B. Stop this hard work and go for smart work. In other words "Bit". Nikhil was the best person to consult in this matter. I spent the whole night preparing bits.

Finally the day of exam arrivd, undoubtedly the most atrocious day in anybodys college life. It was a complete havoc in the room. Gaurav was shouting with tooth paste in his mouth. Even nikhil was shouting from outside the bathroom door. Aakash entered the bathroom with the text book an hour back. I knew very well that he wont come out until he is done with his revision. So it was best for me to skip the morning routine. I hope this sacrifice would show up in my exam results. The exams were ok, I applied all the risk taking actions and used up all the resources i had. Nikhil is very good in this. He knows very well to which question would come and which would not. We saw Aakash after the exam, his face was swollen as if bit by a honey bee. Thats when we came to know about his morning fiasco. He slept for almot an hour in the loo and the mosquitos ate up his face and butt. We laughed a lot on this. People around us thought we were laughing at them. So we turned silent and moved out before they turn our faces swollen. The exams went on one by one. None of them were great, courtesy to the late night phone calls and sleep attack during the morning. Aakash was given special attention when he was in loo.

The whole examination was like a roller coaster ride for us,providing bumps and jerks all through the way and finally in to the water. Thats when the marks are announced. But i do like this time of the year when we have exams. Thats the time we spend the maximum time with our friends. Examination hall is the place where you see the perfect unity. Passing of bits, showing answer sheets and what not. We try our maximum to get through the papers and we also make sure that the one sitting next to us also does the same. Thats one thing you would never see anywhere else.................