Fun

     Our iv was great. I drank and slept, then again woke up and drank till i slept. Things went on like that. This might lead me to the rehab or to a medic but you need to learn to live life on the edge or else you are taking too much of space. This way of life gave me an awsome feeling, drugged like hell. We did visit some beautiful places during the course of the trip but dont remember any of them. We took a week long leave before attending college again. This was the time i got introduced to a gal named radhika through net. Here we go again, i know what you people would be thinking. Yes, you are right! Its not my fault that i fell for her, she tripped me. I saw her pic and the first thing my heart said 'enough of the mourning, lets get back to business'.
    I was a regular guy in orkut, it was the only means by which i used to keep in touch with my friends back home. One day i saw a friends request from this gal called radhika. I went through her profile details and it suggest that she hails from my home town and she is a an year younger to me. I was sure that i did nt know her. But still i accepted her request as she was good looking. Its not everyday that a guy like me gets an invitation from a gal like her. She might have go the wrong guy. Anyways good for me. I accepted the request and went on with my work hoping that i would get her online some day. I wanted to polish my art of flirtation. It is the art of keeping intimacy at a safe distance. Its the art of giing attention without intention. As far as i know all women love flirts, but some are restrained by shyness and some by senses. The next day i went online every one hour as to make sure that i dont miss her. I did nt know her timings. It was around four in the evening that i got it right. She was online. It excited me!
Hai!! I said
I waited for her reply. She send a 'HELLO' with a smiley!
She just reminds me of my next girlfriend. What should i call this, its not even love at first sight. I have nt even seen her. Its just infatuation as alway. We chatted for long, mostly intoduction. She was looking for some friend of hers but ended up sending request to me.
'Call 911' !! I said
She in a tensed manner asked ' What, Why???'
I told I wanted to report that I have just been hit by your love.
She laughed out loud. 'Are you flirting with me' she asked
'Yes, if its working' I told
' I dont think so ' she replied.
I changed gears, told her it was just a joke. Earlier i mentioned about the two catogeries of women. She comes in the sensible one. In the days to come we exchanged cell numbers and had plans to meet each other the next time I go home. That would be the semester leaves.

Addiction

Exam went quite well. Compared to the previous ones this one was great.This time back home i had my thinking cap on, shreya with another guy and neha still stuck with the same guy. I needed to move on. I needed to start the hunt again. In the past few weeks I learned new habits. My liking towards alcohol has increased to a new level. I liked the druged semi concious effect. I was doing all the possible things which I should not be doing and there is no one to stop me. I started smoking, have nt quite got hold of it but still manage it ok. It was nt that I was in a bad company, no one forced me to do anything. All this is my own wish. The feeling of loosing everything was filling my heart and making me realize that I am a looser. Now a days I even fight with Anjana. All our conversations ended up in a fight. We would fight and I would bast her with all the pathetic words and she keeps listening. Hats off to her. She never took our fights seriously but she never forget it either. She brings the topic back at the right time. I even formed distance with Adi. I used to tell him everything and get suggestion from him but now i feel that i even cheated him. So thought of keeping distance from him. I had gone silent and away from the group. We talked less. Everything was coming down right in front of me and no one to blame other than me. I was screwing myself up.

In the midst of all this our industrial visit was announced. It was a trip to kodaikanal and pondichery. Majority of the class was there. First I said no but later agreed as my room mates forced. Even i thought it would be a good change and a refreshment from my devdas behaviour. On the other hand I thought I was going to pondichery were I would get my hand on the alcohols at a cheaper rate. Whatever it may be , I was going.

From now onwards you would see the new chapter in my life!!!!

My Dark life

My life turned dull in the absence of shreya. I used to be on phone the whole night but now I dont have any use of phone. This was the time when I learned the importance of friends. They stood by me even though they knew that I was wrong. During these days, they were of great help to me. That is why its said ' A faithful friend is the medicine for life'. My college life had turned boring, had nothing else to do other than spend time in the class and pray that I dont come across shreya. It was the time when i turned my concentration back on studies. Had a lot to cover up as I had flunked in almost all the subjects that I wrote. That was because I was too much involved in shreya and everything around her. Its her absence that made me realize her importance. Love is a temporary madness. It errupts like a volcano and then subsides. Its when it subsides that you have to make the decision. I can say thats when i made my decision or can say the blunder that I made.

Have you ever thought why people close their eyes when they kiss. Even i did so, but never thought the reason behind it till today. It might be because some of the greater things in life are unseen. That is why we close our eyes when we kiss, cry or dream. All that had happened in the last few months were like a roller coaster ride. Just as what socrates said 'Hottest love has the coldest end'. I self destructed my love to get hurt in the long run.

The hardest thing is to see your love, love someone else. That is what I had to see. Shreya with someone else. In one way it was good as she got some support in those difficult times. Finally the guilt in me of leaving shreya alone was susiding. I had done nothing for that, It was the new support she got in life and a good one. He is a good guy as far as I know.

This last one year of my college life began with a smile. grew with a kiss and ended with a tear drop...................