Addiction

Exam went quite well. Compared to the previous ones this one was great.This time back home i had my thinking cap on, shreya with another guy and neha still stuck with the same guy. I needed to move on. I needed to start the hunt again. In the past few weeks I learned new habits. My liking towards alcohol has increased to a new level. I liked the druged semi concious effect. I was doing all the possible things which I should not be doing and there is no one to stop me. I started smoking, have nt quite got hold of it but still manage it ok. It was nt that I was in a bad company, no one forced me to do anything. All this is my own wish. The feeling of loosing everything was filling my heart and making me realize that I am a looser. Now a days I even fight with Anjana. All our conversations ended up in a fight. We would fight and I would bast her with all the pathetic words and she keeps listening. Hats off to her. She never took our fights seriously but she never forget it either. She brings the topic back at the right time. I even formed distance with Adi. I used to tell him everything and get suggestion from him but now i feel that i even cheated him. So thought of keeping distance from him. I had gone silent and away from the group. We talked less. Everything was coming down right in front of me and no one to blame other than me. I was screwing myself up.

In the midst of all this our industrial visit was announced. It was a trip to kodaikanal and pondichery. Majority of the class was there. First I said no but later agreed as my room mates forced. Even i thought it would be a good change and a refreshment from my devdas behaviour. On the other hand I thought I was going to pondichery were I would get my hand on the alcohols at a cheaper rate. Whatever it may be , I was going.

From now onwards you would see the new chapter in my life!!!!